This picture impacted me So much because for the longest time I was ashamed that it happened to me, almost 2 years ago. My "friends" questioned me whether it was true, they had the nerve, to do so. The "justice" system told me I was old enough to know what was coming, I was judged by everyone. And still am, they let my rapist go, they said it wasn't enough evidence. Because my guess is,the bruises weren't enough along with the hospital records. And also the fact that he was a 2 time sex offender wasnt enough, the first girl dropped charges.Along with the fact that he failed a lie detector.The physical damage was nothing compared to the emotional & mental damage. He ruined my life, for the longest time I was angry, at myself , at God at "friends". I let myself go, I laid in bed all day for days and weeks, months, I wished to die a few times, never tried to though I knew deep down I wasn't ready to go, God didn't let my die then for a reason, I have a reason to be here and I wasn't gonna give up on myself I dealt with PTSD for a while, had to go to therapy and finally stopped being angry I listened to my wise father when he told me to LET GO AND LET GOD. Didn't make sense then but when It did it clicked in me not to give up. The fact that the rapist is still walking around telling people he's innocent still hurts but he knows what he did and someday God will take care of that. His friends tease me and taunt me every time they see me and so do his family members, it's the worst feeling seeing the person who damaged me so much walking around as if he was innocent. I act as if it doesn't phase me because I'm better than that. I thought I didn't deserve to be happy. But I prayed and prayed asked God to forgive me , told him to give me strength. And weird thing was as long as it took I was patient. I didn't give up, with the help of my family and the friends I can count on two hands, they helped me so much! The ones who claimed to be there turned around and talked about me, continued to judge me and Still hung out with him and still do. Those people are cut out of my life. For good.
I don't write this to get pitty from anyone. I don't need it.
I'm writing this because I've been so ashamed of it, but How could I be ashamed of something I didn't cause?? I don't want someone I know who is going through a similar situation to feel alone.
Anyways, after I prayed and was at peace with myself the craziest thing happened, a friend, who had been there for me every step of the way that I was too blind to realize was there, made me strong and taught me to love myself.
Here I am 2 months away from marrying that friend who saved me, the guy my family had no trouble accepting because they saw his honesty, love, and care. I haven't came out with this at all, but if you're reading this I hope you understand that it wasn't easy to get through. But I know even though it was something so ugly, God never left my side.
I will forever be thankful to God for giving me his love and all these people who also love me.
Xoxo
Never lose faith! No matter how ugly a situation can get!
