So it's that time of year where i open up about 2011 and what it brought to me
in the beginning it was pretty rocky, and the middle really challenged my mind and my heart, i honestly wasn't sure if i was gonna make it to Christmas, as tough as things got i never let go of my faith, something my dad taught me to keep.
I was really confused at the beginning of the year, didn't know what i wanted,
when May came around, it totally threw me off, when tragedy struck, i didn't wanna get out of bed after memorial day, what a day to remember, but it's also something i'm working on forgetting, I will never look back without thinking that something so horrible would've changed my out look on life.
The best things happened towards the end, when Jesus came along, no not Jesus Christ because he was always there, but Jesus Espinoza!
He gave me hope when i had lost it all, Just when i thought it was always gonna be the same with someone else, He has proved to me that not all people are the same,
I must say although things are still rough he's made everything better and easier
I LOVE YOU BABE
along with him I made new friends , and they're amazing!!!
I know God is always with me protecting me and the people I love, thank you all who have been there I love you all!
XoXo Barbie <3
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Getting closer to 24...
the only thing on my mind is everything 23 brought me.
I got out of a rocky relationship at the beginning of the year,
i lost a lot of people i thought were friends,i lost myself for a while, and i realized
that the more you try to trust people you CAN'T trust everyone.
This year i Also have lost someone who meant the world to me, he was my best friend, my brother, MY COUSIN.
Everytime i do something it reminds me of him
R.I.P Eddie<3
Here's a little something i wrote for him on a poster surrounded by pics of him
Since the day you were born you were my best friend, my brother, my cousin.
You always used to make us laugh with all your pranks, like the day you bought a universal remote for the tv and hid behind the couch and started changing the channels and i thought there was a ghost in my house and i started crying.
Also the summers you spent with us and the times we used to go to the river with everyone and all the memories we made i will never forget. God put you in our lives
so we will never forget that you brought us so much joy for so many years. God took you so that you wouldn't suffer. Every time i feel the wind i smile because i know you're around me taking care of me. We will always remember the things we did together
but we will never forget you!
WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND MAY YOU REST IN PEACE!!!<3
I will never forget him. EVER!
This year has been so rough and when i told myself
that things couldn't get worse, i didn't think they actually would.
But all I can do is have faith and hope that on the 26th when i make my wish on my 24th b-day i can actually, not wish, but hope for better days.
Thank you God for keeping me strong, because i know you can't give me
what i cannot handle and you are teaching how to be strong, although at times i just wanna give up, I CAN'T AND WONT!
XoXo<3
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
2011 ....
I LOST MY RELATIONSHIP...
I LOST MY DOG...
I LOST A VERY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE
R.I.P. BETTINA
AND I LOST MY CHANCE AT STARTING MY LIFE OVER
THIS DOESN'T MEAN MY LIFE IS OVER AT ALL
THIS MEANS I SHOULDN'T GIVE UP.
IF ANYTHING THESE THINGS SHOULD MAKE ME STRONGER,
BUT ITS KINDA HARD WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE NO SUPPORT FROM THE PEOPLE YOU CARE
THE MOST ABOUT.
I HAVE ALSO LEARNED THAT MANY OF THE PEOPLE I CALLED FRIENDS, ARE NOT.
AS I CONTINUE TO GET OLDER I LEARN THAT LIFE JUST GET HARDER.
BUT I SEE THIS AS A LONG JOURNEY THAT WONT GO THE WAY I WANT IT TO,
IF I DON'T CHASE MY DREAMS THE WAY I SHOULD.
I KNOW I GAVE UP ON MYSELF MANY TIMES, ONLY
BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WASN'T STRONG ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH THINGS.
I CONSIDERED MYSELF A WEAK PERSON.
I LOST TOUCH WITH GOD BECAUSE I WAS ASHAMED OF MYSELF.
BUT JUST BECAUSE THIS YEAR STARTED OFF BAD, DOESN'T MEAN I'M GONNA
LET IT CONTINUE THIS WAY. NOPE.
NO MORE SADNESS I HAVE TO EVENTUALLY LEARN THAT LIFE IS ALWAYS GONNA HAVE ITS DOWNFALLS,AND NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS TO KEEP MY HEAD UP, I WILL.
I RECONNECTED MY LIFE WITH GOD &&
IT HASN'T ALL BEEN SO BAD BECAUSE I FELL IN LOVE WITH RUNNING,
WHICH MAKES ME FEEL GOOD AND PROUD OF MYSELF,
I LEARNED TO LOVE & RESPECT MYSELF.
I ALSO LEARNED THAT NO MATTER HOW BAD A PERSON HURT ME, I CAN FORGIVE THEM.
I'VE BECOME A STRONGER PERSON AND ADDED SOME CONFIDENCE TO IT.
I AM ME AGAIN!
I MISSED ME ....
BUT HERE'S TO A NEW BEGINNING,
MY STUDYING WILL PAY OFF IN JUNE HOPEFULLY AND
MY PATH TO SUCCESS WILL BE BRIGHT.
THANK YOU ALL WHO CONTINUE TO MOTIVATE ME AND PUSH ME TO BETTER MYSELF :)
GOODBYE NEGATIVITY,
HELLO HAPPY-CONFIDENT-POSITIVE BARBIE(:
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Monday, December 6, 2010
DEC. 17TH
AHHH I CAN'T WAIT FOR THINGS TO TURN AROUND FOR ME
I'M FINALLY SPEAKING OUT ABOUT MY LIFE AND FOR MYSELF
I'M GLAD I GOT THE GUTS TO :)
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